Ten Commandments of Dump Trucking
- Thou shalt not dump while on unlevel ground, for surely one day the load will hang up on the low side and the trailer will fall down beside thee. Great oaths and sworn statements as to how many times thou has dumped in worse places will be to no purpose for thy insurance company will forsake thee and thy future employment prospects will be much in doubt.
- Thou shalt line up thy tractor with thy trailer before dumping lest thou be branded as an idiot who tries to dump while jack-knifed and condemned to an eternity of changing tires.
- Thou shalt be sure that thy PTO and pump are not engaged while traveling upon the highways. The view of twelve miles of power and telephone cable draped gracefully around thy hoist is not pleasing to the responsible authorities and the sight of thy trailer body resting ever so gently against the top of a bridge can stir them to such great anger that thou are compelled to dwell in their municipal hotel for many days and nights and to be deprived of feminine companionship, strong drink and Monday night football all during that time.
- Thou shalt not permit another rig to dump while alongside thine, to the left nor to the right, lest the operator be lacking in skill and upset his trailer on top of thine. The humor of such an occurrence may elicit smiles and boisterous laughter from thy companions but will not be apparent to thy employer and should only be reported to him after determining that in neither hand does he hold a tire billy or other blunt instrument.
- Thou shalt be certain that hydraulic hoses are in good condition at all times lest a worn hose blow out when thou tryest to dump a 60,000 lb. Load, 30 miles from town in 15 degree weather and thou findest it necessary to unload it with a shovel 10lbs at a time.
- Thou shalt replace broken or weak springs in matched pairs. To upset a loose load because of one bad spring while dumping on a level concrete pad is an embarrassment which will follow thee all the days of thy life.
- Thou shalt not allow rocks or any other commodity to spill from the vehicle lest they bash in the windshield of the Smokey following behind thee. A calamity of that nature may cause thee to be considered a hazard to the motoring public and unfit to wear double clutching boots, chain drive wallets or other emblems of the professions.
- Thou shalt not permit bulldozers or loaders to make any contact with thy vehicle, neither from the front not from the rear, nor from either side, for the appearance of thy vehicle will be much worse after such contact and the rascal at the repair shop will demand cash in large quality to correct the damage.
- Thy tires shall be checked for adequate pressure daily and whacked with a tire billy every time thou stoppest, lest thy first knowledge of a flat is when thy C.B. comes to life with “Break, Break for Dum Dum Dump, Thou Art On Fire.”
- Thou shalt become wise in the nature of the commodities thou haulest. Such as: that if a load of lime is allowed to get wet it becomes as gummy gelatin and will stay in thy trailer forever, although a wet load of coal will present thee no problems, except when it is very cold, when it freezes solid as a rock. In that way, thou shalt prevent many unpleasant surprises.
Blessed are the careful and wise for they generally remain employed.